A few weeks ago, one of my friends went in front of the parole board. It was his third parole hearing this time around. He had already done three years’ worth of denials. He was very confident that they will let him go this time because he has not been in any trouble in the last three years. We were all cheering for him on the day right before the results came. Another two years’ worth of denial. I just stood beside him not saying much. But then I asked if he was doing okay. He said, ‘No, it feels like a death in the family. No matter how much you try you couldn’t save them.’
The same evening, I came to my cell with a heavy heart and a muddled mind. I opened my Bible to what I was supposed to read that night. It was Mark 15. The crucifixion of Jesus. In this chapter the decision has been made to crucify Jesus after He has been flogged. Then they made Him carry His own Cross to the place called Golgotha. And they crucified Him. But what caught my eye was that before they crucified Him they offered Him wine mixed with myrrh but He did not take it. He did not take the drink that would help him to dull the senses and could make it easy to endure the cross. He was offered a little less of the cross but He did not take it. Instead he drank the full cup of wrath and experienced all of the cross.
‘They offered Him wine mixed with myrrh and he received it not.’
Mark 15:23
I found myself going back two thousand years to this place called Golgotha. My pain and the tears in my eyes blurred my vision so I could not see Jesus clearly. My vision cleared when the tears rolled away and I saw Jesus on the cross. Still, I thought to myself, He could not really understand all that I have been through. Then suddenly I see this cup underneath His cross. It is full of wine and myrrh and it sits rejected. And I keep staring at that rejected cup. It is like the answer to all my problems. I lift up my face toward Him and ask, ‘Why did you not take it?’ He answers, ’So that you will know that I went through everything you went through and so much more until it was finished.’ Then I asked, ‘what about the time when I was drenched in my own sin?’ My Jesus still lifted and nailed to the cross and the cup still rejected. ‘What about the time I felt lonely and forsaken?’ My Jesus still lifted and nailed to the cross and the cup still rejected. ‘What about the day I entered the razor wired walls?’ My Jesus still lifted and nailed to the cross and the cup still rejected. I ask, ‘What if I never come out of prison?’ My Jesus still lifted and nailed to the cross and the cup still rejected.
‘They offered Him wine mixed with myrrh and he received it not.’
Mark 15:23.
I can often go throughout my day forgetting what Jesus did for me on the cross. That is why in Luke 22:19, The Lord commands us to remember Him because He knows that we are forgetful people. Though the bones of my Savior can never be found, I have found His heart. In this passing life, I have come to know His eternal love for me. In this momentary darkness of suffering, sorrow and pain, His cross over-shadows all and the cup still sits rejected. And now I sit in this prison cell drinking from the cup of his grace. Overflowing is the cup of His Grace.
“...let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. Hebrews 12:1-3
